Susanna Leonard Hill (see link below) is an author who offers encouragement and opportunities for wannabe children's authors like myself. In this particular contest the requirements are:
Sebastian, Say Something
Nell held in her hands three Valentine’s cards
- Write a Valentine's story or poem
- For children (aged 12 and under)
- 214 words or less (this is exactly 214 words excluding the title)
- In which someone is confused.
Here is my entry (which earned me a tie for seventh place!):
Sebastian, Say Something
Nell held in her hands three Valentine’s cards
She made in
her class during Art.
Miss Polly,
her teacher, had helped her to trace,
Then
carefully cut out each heart.
Nell glued
them on paper she’d folded in half.
Miss Polly
had said they looked good.
She wrote
on each inside, “I love you so much!”
As well as
an eight-year old could.
But now as she
held them, while perched on the bed
She slept
in the end of each week,
Nell said
to Sebastian, her step-mother’s cat,
“Sebastian,
I wish you could speak!”
“I know I
have known you for only two years.
And
clearly, at first I was mad.
I wanted my
parents to stay as they were,
But your
mommy married my dad.
“I hated to
come here; I hated you all.
Leaving my
mother was hard,
But your
mommy, Susan’s, been ever so nice.
Now, I want
to give her this card.
“Sebastian,
the problem’s my mother still cries.
I’m worried
what harm I might do
By giving
to Susan this Valentine’s card
And telling
her I love her too.
“So, give
me some signal, a simple meow
Or purr to
convince me I’m right,
But hurry
Sebastian; she’s coming in soon
To hug me and kiss me goodnight!”
To hug me and kiss me goodnight!”
Nice job, and a heartfelt topic.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Tough to communicate in 214 words, but it looks like you understood.
ReplyDeleteA topic that is sure to touch everyone's hearts. Great job!
ReplyDeleteA topic that is sure to touch everyone's hearts. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jill!
DeleteWhat a beautiful story told well in rhyme. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jilianne!
ReplyDeleteVery touching. Good luck
ReplyDeleteThank you McMarshall!
DeleteMoving story and sweet (and realistic) that she tells the cat her feelings.
ReplyDeleteThank you Gabi!
ReplyDeleteI hope Sebastian gave her the signal. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI didn't stick around to find out. lol. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteWhew, an intense, emotional journey for Nell. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you Amanda!
ReplyDeleteoh my. Tough subject well done.
ReplyDeleteI wish you well with this story.
Thank you Lynn!
ReplyDeleteColleen, I totally relate to your MC in this touching story. You showed the confusion of being expected to love a new family after a divorce with bravato and care. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you Traci!
DeleteLove that Nell had a cat to counsel and console her. A tender tale indeed.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much!
DeleteTouching story. A big subject for little space. Well done! Divorce can be so difficult and confusing for children. Glad to read she´s accepted the change and loves her step-mummy too. Love Nell´s therapeutic relationship with Sebastian.
ReplyDeleteTouching story. A big subject for little space. Well done! Divorce can be so difficult and confusing for children. Glad to read she´s accepted the change and loves her step-mummy too. Love Nell´s therapeutic relationship with Sebastian.
ReplyDeleteIt was a bit difficult getting the whole story in in 214 words, but I'm glad the message was communicated! Thanks for stopping by.
ReplyDeleteThis was so sincere, just the way a child might think. I love how the mc discusses the dilemma with the cat. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I was hoping it was believable.
ReplyDeleteWow, Colleen. What a beautiful job you did conveying the true confusion a child might feel when faced with loving someone that feels like a betrayal to loving someone else - and a situation which an unfortunate number of kids have to deal with. Thank you so much for your heartfelt entry!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the inspiration and the contest. I was glad I could communicate the story in the requisite 214 words. I do not envy your job of having to judge all the entries. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words.